marital problems

  • Should you give him another chance?

    Should you give him another chance?

    Dr. Miriam Adahan

    For 7 years, the “peace process” (or the peace psychosis) has lurched from one crisis to another as Israelis wavered between unrealistic hopes (“Maybe the Arabs will learn to be nice.”) and dismal fears (“This can’t possibly work!”) Each terrorist attack brought us back to the gloomy reality. 

  • Surviving an abusive relationship: using the enneagram to identify and cope with abuse in relationships

    Surviving an abusive relationship:  using the enneagram to identify and cope with abuse in relationships

    Dr. Miriam Adahan

  • Contempt kills the spirit

    Contempt kills the spirit

    Dr. Miriam Adahan

    Since Sticks and Stones was published, I have received thousands of letters and phone

  • Facing emotonal terror

    Facing emotonal terror

    Dr. Miriam Adahan

    Grenades, bullets, rockets, explosive belts…the list of weapons used by terrorists to intimidate and destroy is endless. And the same holds for the methods used  to hurt people emotionally. We are told that the senseless hatred destroyed the second Bais HaMikdash. And from the tragic stories I hear as a therapist, it seems that little has changed. No one has yet unraveled the mystery as to why some people are so thrilled by their power to hunt down and destroy innocent people.

  • Ona’at Devarim

    Ona’at Devarim

    Dear Parents,

    The main sign of a Jew who is truly devoted to Torah is that he does everything in his power never to cause emotional anguish to another. The sin of hurting another’s feelings deliberately is called ona’at devarim (Vayikra 25:17). It applies to words or gestures which makes others feel shamed, humiliated or unimportant. This includes name-calling, criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, teasing and humiliating punishments.

  • PAS: Parental Alienation Syndrome

    PAS: Parental Alienation Syndrome

    Dr. Miriam Adahan

    Anyone even contemplating divorce must be aware of one of the most tragic situations afflicting many divorcees: the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Without an understanding of this terribly frequent phenomenon, it is impossible to understand the anguish of the victims. PAS, a term coined in 1985 by Dr. Richard Gardner, M.D., refers to a brutal form of domestic violence.

  • Traumatic marriages

    Traumatic marriages

    Dr. Miriam Adahan

    They come to me full of sorrow, frustration and rage, complaining about spouses who are cold, critical, uncommunicative, even cruel - spouses who cannot satisfy the most basic human needs for communication, appreciation, empathy, warmth - to put it simply - love.

  • EMOTIONAL ABUSE CHECK LIST

    No one likes to admit to being abused.  However, by facing the truth, you can take precautions, build an independent sense of self-worth and stop wasting time trying to get love, understanding and respect from people who cannot give it.  

  • MARITAL MISERY

    There are many issues in any unhappy marriage which must be addressed in order to reduce the level of emotional anguish. 

  • ABUSE CHECK LIST

    The urge to hurt others is a natural human response to being hurt. But true abuse means that the abuser takes pleasure in hurting others and does so repeatedly, with malice aforethought. Abuse is rampant in homes, schools and work. By recognizing the signs, you will understand why you feel so frightened and confused and will, hopefully, distance yourself, physically and/or emotionally instead of trying to please the abuser.  Never justify, trivialize, deny or defend abuse, especially not for shalom bayis, kibud horim or kibud morim, as doing so encourages abuse.    

  • THE AGONY OF THE BENCH WARMERS

    Imagine that tomorrow morning, there is a decree that everyone in the frum world must wear the same shoe size –let's say size 8. Those who wears size 8 feel great – but those with larger or smaller feet suffer. The same is true of the pressure we put on people to fit into a one-size-fits-all way of life. 

  • THE AGONY OF THE BENCH WARMER1

    In Part I, I described the agony of the bench warmers, i.e., those men who are supposedly sitting and learning in kollel

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