marriage

  • SURVIVING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP: USING THE ENNEAGRAM TO IDENTIFY AND COPE WITH ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

    SURVIVING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP: USING THE ENNEAGRAM TO IDENTIFY AND COPE WITH ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS
    Domestic violence is as common as terrorism on the international scene. And it is even more frightening, because there is no safe place to come home to.
  • CONTEMPT KILLS THE SPIRIT

    Since Sticks and Stones was published, I have received thousands of letters and phone calls from people suffering from abusive family members, bosses and co-workers. Boruch Hashem, there is now more awareness about the problem. Before reading the book, many people were not even aware that they were abuse victims.
  • SHOULD YOU GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE?

    For 7 years, the “peace process” (or the peace psychosis) has lurched from one crisis to another as Israelis wavered between unrealistic hopes (“Maybe the Arabs will learn to be nice.”) and dismal fears (“This can’t possibly work!”) Each terrorist attack brought us back to the gloomy reality.
  • ONA’AT DEVARIM

    The main sign of a Jew who is truly devoted to Torah is that he does everything in his power never to cause emotional anguish to another. The sin of hurting another’s feelings deliberately is called ona’at devarim (Vayikra 25:17).
  • TRAUMATIC MARRIAGES

    They come to me full of sorrow, frustration and rage, complaining about spouses who are cold, critical, uncommunicative, even cruel - spouses who cannot satisfy the most basic human needs for communication, appreciation, empathy, warmth - to put it simply - love.

  • THE MARRIED BACHELOR

    When a child marries, parents wonder, "Will he settle down and be a loving and responsible person?  I remember when I married off my oldest son and was so happy to see him grow into a responsible husband and father, who would often get up with a child at night so that his wife could sleep and was at her side when they needed to take a child to the doctor.  
  • SEVEN MYTHS ABOUT LOVE

     I get many calls and e-mails from people who are confused about love. The following are the most common delusions...
  • DONT MARRY THIS CHILD

    As a therapist who is constantly hearing about marital traumas, I know that the following will fall mainly on deaf ears. However, for the few who might listen, I beg you not to fall into the trap of thinking, "Marriage makes people grow up." 
  • A MARRIAGE OR AN ARRANGEMENT?

    All normal people dream of marrying a loving spouse who will share their joys and sorrows and provide a sense of self-worth, dignity and security. However, in order for a marriage to thrive, three things are necessary: love, trust and respect. 
  • FANTASY AND FURY

    Dr. Miriam Adahan, Nov. 2009

    The couple had barely completed their brief in-take papers, which included a small handwriting sample, when, her eyes blazing with fury, the wife pounded on the small table between us and yelled, "He has to grow up! I need a husband who is a real partner, not a lazy good-for-nothing who won't take responsibility and is totally clueless about my needs!" Her husband sat hunched in his chair, looking like a hapless cat which had somehow survived the spin cycle on a washing machine.

  • HOW TO HAVE THE BEST MARRIAGE POSSIBLE

    Even in the best of marriages, a spouse's behavior can be irritating at times.  Now, we all know that research proves that criticizing a spouse for a certain behavior will inevitably cause an intensification of those very symptoms. 
  • A GUIDE TO BETTER MARRIAGE:PART I

    or relationships to be successful, there must be rules – and people must follow them.  Think of a game of Monopoly.  You wouldn't want to play with someone who grabs money that you have won or puts the card he chose back on the pile because he didn't like it or turns the board over because he doesn't like how the game is going.
  • BRIDGING THE MALE-FEMALE COMMUNICATION GAP

    Among the phrases most dreaded by men, then right up there with "It's malignant" is the "We need to talk" demand made by a frustrated wife who feels ignored, exploited or unappreciated. 

  • INNOCENT!

    After spending two days writing this article, I read Sara Chana Radcliffe's excellent piece on Alternative Explanations, echoing my same thoughts.
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